


Call Me

by Falconette



Category: Free!
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-13
Updated: 2015-07-13
Packaged: 2018-04-09 05:35:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4335851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falconette/pseuds/Falconette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sousuke's coming to terms with his injury and his relationship status</p>
            </blockquote>





	Call Me

This may be considered a sequel to “Fix You”, but can be read separately as both really are one-shot fics.

 

 **Call Me**                                                                                                            

My phone rang while I was finishing dinner, buzzing softly at my hand, automatically seizing my attention. It was Rin’s number, an ID I didn’t expect seeing anytime soon after Sousuke and I broke up in such an ugly way so I let it ring for awhile, unable to decide whether to pick up and spoil my meal or to let it be and chew myself inside out with unanswered questions. I had no bones to pick with Rin, he was a nice guy and fun to have around, but him being Sousuke’s roommate and his best friend, I picked his side for him, cut all contacts and made things easier for all of us.

And now, the late call.

I took it, not so much out of curiosity, but because of a sudden unease waking in the pit of my stomach.

“Yeah?” I tried to keep my voice carefully neutral as I clutched the phone in my hand.

“Hey, it’s me, Rin.” The voice on the other side was also conspicuously bland. A pause. “How have you been?”  


“Same old. You?” I threw the ball back at him without missing a beat, doing the same thing he did – perking up my ears for the things unsaid.

“I certainly cannot complain.” This time he allowed some warmness to seep into his tone and I could imagine him doing that half-grin of his. “You know how they say; every day, in every way, getting better and better.” Another pause. “Look…” he finally said soberly and by the change in his voice I could tell he was having enough of the glib small talk. In fact, I could already guess the subject so before he could say anything more, my voice cut in with venom I didn’t know I still carried in me.

“If this is about Sousuke, I don’t want to hear it.”

On the other side Rin sighed like he was expecting this sort of retort and said in a calming tone: “Can you just let me finish?”

“No! We are through.” I steamed, noticing my hand holding the phone was starting to tremble. He sure dug up some bad memories. “I do not give a rat’s ass about him or his… stupid…” The words have failed me. I was sounding ridiculous, which made me even angrier.

There was only silence from the other side then Rin’s observation, “But you still haven’t hung up yet.”

I froze with my mouth wide open, stunned by his forwardness and my own reaction. Yes, I didn’t hang up. Maybe it was the conciliatory tone of Rin’s voice that kept me from pressing the red dial. Maybe it was because I knew all along this phone call would come, just as I knew that I would take it when it came, despite myself, despite everything. Can you be angry at yourself in advance?

“Rin, look,” I tried to sound reasonable and collected, “you’re a nice guy and I don’t want to cut you off…”

“He got diagnosed today.” Rin was never the type to beat around the bush and his impatience was showing, “Hasn’t moved from his bed since he came back from the doctors’.” A heavy pause. “I think you should come and see him.”

I swallowed hard, striving to keep my voice strong, “And why should I do that? He didn’t move a muscle when I left, didn’t call or look for me. Do you see him asking around about how I’ve been doing? He didn’t even bring my stuff back!”

I knew Rin didn’t need special reminders of those recent tumultuous days; sharing the same room with Sousuke, he witnessed a fair share of our fights near the end, most of them revolving about me insisting he quit competitive swimming and him having none of it. In the end, I couldn’t bear to watch him destroy himself for some score on some record board and so I left.

“He picked his fucking swimming over me!” I yelled at the cell phone, relieved I could finally verbalize it to somebody although Rin with his fanatic training regimes was probably the last person who could empathize.

“That was the thing with you.” Rin’s low voice was not accusing, but was very damn close, “You never understood what swimming meant to him.”

None of us spoke for awhile, mulling over the things said, the things passed.

“What’s the diagnosis?” my voice was rasped, expectant.

“Ask him yourself.” Rin retorted in a tone that defied disobedience. No wonder he was picked a captain despite his aloof demeanor. “I will leave the door open and disappear for couple of hours. It’s still the same room.”

I couldn’t bring myself to confirm my visit, letting my head, suddenly too heavy, rest in my free hand. I hoped I had closed that chapter when I last left that room, but apparently neither Rin nor I thought so. Otherwise he wouldn’t have called and I wouldn’t have answered. What did Sousuke think?

Several moments passed in silence as pros and cons in me surfaced in a turmoil, twisting and snapping like wood of old ships. Thank heavens that sliding tears made no sounds that could be transmitted over the phone. On the other side, Rin patiently waited.

“Ok. “ I said after awhile in a small voice, “I’ll come.”

“Thank you.” Rin’s voice sounded relieved as he hung up.

* * *

I hurried down the corridor thorugh Samezuka Academy dorms, approaching the familiar door on my tiptoes. With no one who could ask meddling questions in sight, I pushed against the door and it swung open, revealing only darkness inside. I stepped in and closed it behind me, allowing my eyes to adjust to the faint glow of park lamps through the room’s sole window.

It was utterly quiet.

“Sousuke?” I asked in the voice most resembling my neutral, confident tone. As if I knew what I was doing. Maybe he wasn’t even here.

After getting no reply and starting to feel incrementally stupid for entering boys’ dorm on my own without even turning on the light, my hand reached for the switch on the wall. I wanted to at least see where I was.

“Don’t.” A deep voice came from above my head, making me jump.

“Couldn’t you have answered when I called out?” I composed myself in a hurry. Anger, old and sinister, swelled up in my words, surprising me. I didn’t come here to fight battles long lost. Since Sousuke didn’t retort, as I didn’t expect him to, I tried to prompt him, “Rin told me you went to the doctor today…”

“Un.” he grunted a vague confirmation, shifting in bed. His was the top bunk.

I waited a moment before speaking again, slowly pronouncing each word like he was supposed to read my lips, hating the way he let my words fall flat, not bothering to hold something even remotely like a conversation. I hated the way it resembled the way things used to be.

“So what did he say?”

This time, he didn’t even deign me with the unintelligible reply.

“Sousuke?” I hissed his name through teeth after awhile, angry at myself for coming after all. I was tired of standing stupidly in the middle of the dark room, it was either through the door or up the ladder and, unlike the last time, I chose the latter. If nothing else, I wanted to show him he couldn’t hide in that high castle of his like the last time I saw him, when he ignored my pleading then my yelling perched up there, until I stormed out. Anticipating the sound of rushed footsteps that were supposed to follow and catch up with you, but never came, is one of the most heart-breaking feelings in the world. I don’t think I will ever forgive him for that.

My hands on the side-bars of the ladder and my legs working like pistons, I climbed to the top of the bunk bed in seconds. In dim light I could make him out stretched on his back with head resting on his hands, elbows spread wide. Had the bed been a bit shorter, it would have been too small for him.

“Hey, I am talking to you!” I pushed his shin with my hand, not at all gently. Sousuke shifted to the side, making room for me and, after a short deliberation, I took him up on the silent offer. With Sousuke, you learned to read the gestures and the unsaid instead of listening to words.

“What did the doctor say?” I repeated, more mildly this time. The warmness of his body through fabric of his track pants was familiar and intimate, as were the smells and the atmosphere of this room, this bed. We shared a lot of nice memories here, too. Each of them now stung me deep. “It is bad?”

“It is.” His answer carried the air of finality about it, dry and blunt like a gunshot.

“H-how bad?” I suddenly realized I had no right to demand an answer. He didn’t owe me one. It was a personal thing, an extremely rude and out-of-line inquiry, and just as I was starting to apologize, one of his hands found mine. Just a brush of his fingertips across my knuckles but that was when I really started to worry.

I moved up on the bed, closer to his face. He didn’t move, just continued staring at the ceiling like he had been since I climbed up and for who knows how long before that.

“You don’t have to tell me.” I whispered, not knowing what else to do. “I will leave if you want me to…” Fingers that rested on my hand closed around it, gently but tightly. The message was clear.

“Is there anything I can do?” my voice was thin and quiet, disappearing completely when he shook his head slightly, just enough for me to register. His fingers didn’t release mine. Urged by his unnerving silence, my other hand reached up towards his face and came away with moist fingertips.

He had been crying, silently and helplessly. Did Rin see? Did that prompt him to call me? I have never seen Sousuke even remotely close to crying, even though there were times I wanted to, especially near the end. His adamant front drove me crazy, desperate and finally made _me_ cry instead.

I reached next his head for a sheet, a pajama piece, something to wipe the tears away with and came up with a wrinkled piece of cloth that looked familiar even in the dim light. I turned it in my hand to be sure and he must have guessed my pending question.

“I meant to give it back to you, eventually.” his voice was calm, detached from the wet streaks on his temples as his eyes watched me unfold my old T-shirt, the one I used to sleep in when I would stay over. There was a long, hesitant pause before he added, “It still smells like you.”

Taken aback, I crumpled the shirt and tucked at his face which didn’t change expression, like the whole ordeal didn’t concern him at all. He gave me one of his heavy, long gazes and, again, I had to guess what was going on behind those eyes.

“I am sorry for the bad news.” I finally found words again, hushed and weak. His loud, short laugh made me jump.

“Sorry?” Sousuke threw his head back in an eerie, shrill cackle that did not suit him, “Out of all people, you should be happy! You were right all along!” He covered his eyes with the back of one hand, something in his voice finally breaking. “I am beyond repair. I have to give up… “ He sobbed, choking on his words, trying to wipe the rolling tears with his fist like a child and failing miserably.

I pressed my hand against his heaving chest to calm the tide inside, stunned. “I never wanted… Sousuke…” My words weren’t reaching him so I laid beside him and put my arms around his broad shoulders that shuddered like eaves in wind as unrestrained cries of misery rolled from deep within him. I felt I had to keep him from shattering and falling apart, so I held on tight and for a long time, until he slowly calmed down.

Finally, he cleaned his face with his hand and remained still, like sky after the storm. Just breathing.

“When I asked you to stop then,” I whispered and tentatively wiped the remaining tears off his cheeks, unsure how he’ll react, “I just wanted you to be well…”

“I know.” his voice was a drained whisper, his eyes turned to the ceiling, “Even then I was afraid it would come to this…” his chin started trembling and his face twisted in a grimace again, but he managed to restrain himself this time. ”That I would have nothing left. First you were gone.” He sobbed, his voice betraying him, “Now they have stripped me of the clearance to compete. Next, I will have to leave the academy, the team and Rin…”

“I am right here.” I heard myself say, caressing his cheek. His eyes darted towards mine, questioning my sincerity. Somehow, my lips closed the space between us and melted in his, reluctant but soon tenderly accepting. He has never kissed me with so much gentleness before, every nerve inside my lips tingled with his touch, burning and soothing at the same time.

“And I am sure Rin will not stop being…” I begun, but he cut me off with a sudden edge in his voice, his body tensing.

“Did Rin ask you to do this?”

“No,” I shook my head, brushing my lips against his. I wanted to feel his breath, his smell, his warmth now that I was reminded how good they felt. “He just asked me to stop by. He was worried about you.”

Sousuke seemed to process this for a moment, then turned his attention back to me, studying my face. “I missed you.” he said after awhile.

I smiled, biting my tongue, stopping myself from blurting out how many times I had hoped it was him when the phone rang or a message arrived. Instead, I asked in a sober voice, “What about your arm?”

He exhaled heavily and gave me a tired smile, “With therapy, it will restore its functionality, but I can forget about training and racing. Those days are over.” There was a sting in his tone at the end, a bitter and regretful undertone. Suddenly, he turned to his side and pulled me to him, pressing my cheek against his chest, holding me in an embrace like a drowning man.

“Why didn’t you call me?” my voice was muffled, my eyes closed in his calming presence. This was a familiar place, a safe place.

“I couldn’t.” I felt his chin press against the top of my head, his fingers dug into my hair, harboring there.

“I was waiting for you to…” I began but he cut me off, without loosening his grasp.

“I couldn’t.”

We remained silent for several long minutes, immersed in darkness behind closed eyelids, absorbing the feel and presence of each other. Will I ever be able to let go?

“Does it hurt when you hold me like that?” I mumbled into his thick chest muscles.

“A little.” his throat resonated with his deep voice against my head, but he made no move to unwrap his long arms from around me. My hands caressed his broad back, the side that was broken and damaged, in slow, lazy motions. Beneath my fingers flowed hills and nooks of his muscles, deceptively solid and tough, but I knew the insidious crack was rooted deep within the sinewy flesh, like a snake in the grass. Poisoning from the inside.

Our bodies knew each other well enough to slip in snugly alongside each other, basking in heat of the other one, legs tangling together, our curves filling out spaces between us. It didn’t surprise me when I felt Sousuke react to me the way he usually did. It flattered, made me proud and glad, so I silently giggled.

“Uugggh, I cannot believe this is happening. Now of all times.” Sousuke grunted apologetically, shifting his hips away, but I wouldn’t let him.

“No, it’s ok, let me.” My fingers slipped past the cord of his training pants, meeting no resistance from Sousuke’s part. I cupped his cock that had in the meantime grown to its full girth, surprised, as ever, how hot its skin was. Before I could do anything else, his fingers tipped my chin upwards, towards his lips and he kissed me hungrily, literally taking my breath away.

“I never stopped…” his lips collided with mine so hard it almost hurt, as his head pressed on and forward, ravenous, feral, unbound, “wanting you.”

I kissed him back, utterly helpless in his arms as he slid the pants down his thighs and positioned himself on his knees above me. The knots of his muscles reminded me of the strength his body could muster, of the way he used it to slide through the water and between my legs. I squeezed his shaft and he shuddered, choking on the kiss. After a few caresses he was already losing his focus, unable to take the pleasure from my lips, my tongue, my hand at the same time.

“It has been so long since I…” he gave me an apologetic look that bordered with shame. It was all I could take. My free hand dug its fingers into the short hair on the nape of his neck, pulling him in and kissing him roughly as my other hand turned caresses into rhythmic massage, relentless and purposeful. He let me set the pace and take him to oblivion, one stroke at the time, invading my mouth deeply with his tongue as he would penetrate me with his dick, if he had the chance.

He didn’t take long. After a few more strokes and rapid breathes, Sousuke gasped and his whole body shuddered, straining then relaxing in throes of a powerful orgasm. Hot drops of his semen exploded all over my shirt, gushing out in sticky, copious puddles.

“You really weren’t kidding.” I commented, wiping fingers off my shirt. Still winded, Sousuke managed a crooked, sheepish smile before sliding back to bed next to me.

“Take that thing off.” He said and peeled the smeared cloth off me, singlehandedly and without an obvious effort, like I was a child. “Here.” he dug out my old sleeping shirt from tumbled mess around us, and pulled it over my head, “It is a bit crumpled, but cleaner that that one.” In one short swipe, he tossed the dirty shirt to the floor.

“Hey,” I protested, straightening my hair, then snorting in chuckle, “Rin will flip when he sees _that_ on the floor.”

“You seem to be forgetting you are in a boys’ dormitory...“ Sousuke commented as-a-mater-of-factly, lying back with one hand behind his head and enjoying endorphins that coursed through his body. I could just barely make out a grin wavering on the corner of his mouth.

I used his chest as a pillow, petting his bad shoulder. „Does it hurt less now?“

„Uh-huh.“ he made a throaty sound in reply, his breathing slowing down.

„Will you go to see the therapist tomorrow?“ I let myself be lulled by steady and calming ebb and flow of his chest.

„Will you come with me?“ he asked in return, without opening his eyes. He must have felt me studying his face, going through the explicit and other implications of his question and my answer.

„All you need to do is call me, you know.“ My voice came out a bit wooden and dry, but it was all I could give, all the steps I could take towards him. Now it was up to him to close the gap between us.

„I will.“ He said, put one arm around my shoulders and held me closer. There was a fully bloomed smile on his face now.

A rumbling noise came from his stomach, ripping though the night, putting an abrupt end to a nice moment together.

„Well,“ Sousuke muttered awkwardly, sitting up, „It has been awhile since I last ate, too.“

I burst out laughing, pressing palms against my mouth not to draw unwanted attention. “If your appetite is back, I don’t have to worry about you anymore.”

Sousuke frowned and ran his fingers through his hair, embarrassed, just as we heard a discreet knock on the door. Rin came in tentatively, framed by the light form the corridor and called out.

“Oi, Rin, flip the lights.” Sousuke said in his usual, deep voice and I immediately regretted not stopping him, as the sudden outburst of light hurt my eyes. Rin took a moment to take the situation in and then gave us one of his knowing smiles, but didn’t say anything.

“We were thinking about hitting some diner, so if you’d like to join us…” Sousuke was already maneuvering himself off the bunk bed and onto the floor, patting down creases from his clothes in his I-am-in-control manner.

“Yeah, sure, I am always in for a good steak.” Rin grinned and, as Sousuke turned to get his wallet, winked at me.

All I could do was wink back.

* * *

_In swimming, you are always trying to beat yourself, to break your best score, to give your best in every motion, bring out the most out of every effort. It is unlike sports where you can get lucky with a less skillful opponent or rely on your team mates. The water doesn’t forgive, doesn’t cut any slack. You have to give it your all, every time. You have to challenge yourself, your weaknesses and shortcomings and prevail, again and again._

_That is how I know Sousuke will overcome this. He has been triumphing against his weaknesses for as long as he can remember._

 


End file.
